Thursday, May 13, 2010

The Price You Pay...

I've been reading other blogs in the Blogosphere, trying to get an idea of what to write about. It will come as no shock, I'm certain, that my sister in law, Cheri's Motherhood blog gave me my topic for today.

What is the price you, as an author, feel you pay? Creativity is a wonderful gift. But at what cost?

Personally, I'm a classic insomniac as defined in Cheri's post. But it wouldn't be me if it didn't go to the extremes of normal. My whole life I have been an overly creative person. I didn't just develop a story, people, I developed a WORLD.

When I get sick, I play "Stump the Doctor". Yes, it is true. On more than one occasion the Dr. has had to pull out the medical text-book to define my symptoms.

My insomnia goes to the extremes as well. I cannot get my brain to shut down at night. There are times I am going over in my head, stories, bills to be paid, dinner menus. Mostly stories. But I refuse to get out of bed. Why? Because I KNOW that if I turn on my laptop and start writing, I won't go to sleep.

Sadly, I give in more often than not. I almost always end up typing away until 5 or 6 a.m. Otherwise, if I lay in bed and just let this stuff run through my mind, I still don't fall asleep til then anyway.
I'm a night owl by nature. It doesn't always affect me like this. I do get some decent sleep, but when my depression was really bad, anxiety crept in on little cat feet. It affected my work. At the time, I wasn't writing, I was in therapy. But writing has become my therapy. Blogging too.

Because my mind doesn't stop, I'm constantly changing and growing as a person. This is a good thing.

These last few weeks I have thought, "Wow, we really need to get out of this financial hole we're in. But how?" My hands are bad. I can do housework, so I did. I can't really go into details, but the bottom line is, I told myself I'd do anything to help out the family. "I just have to suck it up and do it." And I did. So I applied that to my writing and revising as well. "I just have to get over it. I just have to do it. I can't just sit here and not do anything with my writing."

So I have posted my word/revision counts. You'll notice Legend of Black Rose (LoBR) creeping up a bit. I've written 1,000 + words in the couple of days I had some spare time. I'll be busy again for a day or so. But in the meantime, I have worked on it. My query letter, I think, looks good and I am going to leave it alone.

I've also discovered that what I write is technically High Fantasy. I can't get away with just fantasy as a label anymore. I did build a world, I did go to the extremes, I can't get away with a simple label anymore.
What's the price you've paid to be so creative? What do you sacrifice as a writer? Is it worth it?

Let's see... I'm going to add Avatar to my fave movies. And bands... The Police.



Writing poetry at first was a thearapy but after I got over my berevements I found it was a part of my life, I write mainly about expereineces of life ,on the odd occasion I write a fictional poem,but it don't keep me awake.
I enjoyed your most interesting post and hope you get more sleep.

Take care.

Janet Johnson said...

Writing does try to take over my life. Definitely comes at a cost. Hopefully it's worth it. Great post!

Unknown said...

I've probably avoided going some places with my daughter because I wanted to write. Sometimes I have to force myself to do all those fun things, which is sad. This year, I might be able to do both since I got my little netbook. lol. (is that cheating?)

I still do a lot with her, but not as much as I did with my boys when they were younger, but part of that is I was only working part-time back then.

Mel Chesley said...

Yep, I've sacrificed lots to write, but that is okay. I feel it is worth it in the end.

And no Mary, that's not cheating. ;)

Talli Roland said...

Interesting question because I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Definitely, I'm giving up financial stability. And the ability to go down to the high street and buy something whenever I want (can't be over-rated, I tell you!). But also interaction with colleagues, and all those things that come with a day-job.

However, it's worth it!

Hart Johnson said...

Sometimes I wish my creativity were so high. I am entirely UNCREATIVE in most aspect of my life. The writing to me is puzzle solving... putting the sparse ideas together in new ways. My strength is in my psychological knowledge--how people REALLY think and interact...

STILL, sometimes the brain is too full... vivid dreams, restless sleep--but I think not the same level of sleep trouble you of the 'create worlds' creativity experience.

My family experiences neglect because I can't be bothered with housekeeping and I cant remember appointments (nor be bothered to look at the calendar)--fortunately, I married well. I'm the wage earner, and my man-wife keeps track of such things.

Unknown said...

Hm... I've had a couple of, what my sis calls them, "Zombie Writing Days," when I'm not really alive t the world, and it can last anywhere from a few minutes to a couple of weeks. I've missed out on some life moments, and accidentally ignored some people, but overall, I can't imagine NOT writing, so for me it had been worth it. Especially because I'm still close with my family, and have learned to let go of writing when the more important things are going on.


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